Newsflash: 53% of Americans use sex toys in the bedroom.
Surprised?
You shouldn’t be. There are some compelling reasons to use toys to spice up your relationship, which we’ll get to in a moment. Sex toys have also lost much of their stigma, especially in the wake of 50 Shades of Gray (which increased toy sales by a whopping 400%).
Are you curious about trying toys for yourself or with your partner? Keep reading and we’ll discuss why and how you should do exactly that!
Why Use Toys in the Bedroom?
If you’ve always felt that sex toys are just for the adventurous or the deviants, think again. You don’t have to swing from the ceiling or inflict pain on your partner — unless you’re into that sort of thing, of course.
For the “average” couple, using toys in the bedroom is simply a way to enhance their sex lives. Consider some reasons why many people use sex toys (and you should too).
It Takes the Pressure Off
Sex should be one of the least stressful things we do all day, but that’s not always the case.
There’s tremendous pressure on men to “make” their partner orgasm, which can create extra anxiety for them. Meanwhile, 70% of women need some sort of clitoral stimulation to climax, which means they need something more than standard intercourse.
If all you’re doing is worrying about when and how (or if) you’ll get off, it can quickly sap the joy from the bedroom.
Sex toys such as vibrators help to take the pressure off both of you. For starters, it will be easier to achieve orgasm or even have multiple orgasms. It will also free you to relax and enjoy the moment, which is what sex is all about in the first place.
Explore & Strengthen Your Sexual Bond
By expanding your horizons, you may discover something you really enjoy. New doors will open and you’ll discover or rediscover parts of yourself that you may not have known existed.
For example, you’ll be more likely to try new positions, which could result in increased pleasure for you and your partner. Men especially are visual creatures, so if you let your man watch you masturbate, he’ll feel like he’s won the lottery.
Sex toys also offer the chance to keep your connection alive if you’re physically apart. There are remote control toys you can control from across the room or across the globe. If your partner frequently travels for business, this could help to keep the spark alive while you’re apart.
And even if we’ve never spoken about them aloud, we’ve all had our own private sex fantasies. Naughty nurse? Sexy librarian? A police officer with handcuffs? Pull these fantasies out of your head and try them in real life — you’ll be glad you did!
How to Introduce Sex Toys
Now that you know why you should try toys in the bedroom, it’s time to find out how to choose, introduce, and enjoy them. Here are some tips to get you started!
Research Different Options
If you’re new to the world of sex toys, you may have no idea what’s even available. Here are some of the most common options to choose from:
- Vibrators (both internal and external)
- Couple’s toys (to stimulate both of you at once)
- Dildos
- Plugs
- Strap-ons
- BDSM accessories (blindfolds, handcuffs, whips, etc.)
Vibrators and dildos are popular choices for newbies, as they’re self-explanatory and easy to use. You may also research toys based on your own unique preferences or fantasies — there’s literally a toy for everything!
Talk & Shop Together
If you haven’t already done so, sit down and talk about the topic with your partner. It may feel awkward at first, especially if you’re both new to the idea of using toys in the bedroom. You may also worry that the suggestion will make your partner feel inadequate or that they’re not doing enough on their own to please you.
Have an open, honest conversation about all these things. Talk about the things that turn you on and assure your partner that you want to find out more about their needs and desires too. Make sure they’re also on board with the idea before you proceed to the next step.
Once you’re both excited about this new chapter, it’s time to do some shopping. Many couples enjoy shopping together, as it builds anticipation and allows you to see what the other is most interested in trying.
Bonus tip: Start with something non-threatening. If you order a monstrous, larger-than-life dildo, it could be both intimidating and disheartening.
Instead, pick a toy that inspires curiosity and fun. Try a finger vibrator that’s small, quiet, and definitely not intimidating. Or get a pair of furry handcuffs, a blindfold, and a sexy costume to wear.
Experiment & Have Fun
Whatever toys you choose, it’s time to slip into bed and give them a try. Don’t just focus on yourself — keep the play about yourself and your partner.
Be verbal and tell your partner how turned on you are and how good they make you feel. If possible, don’t mention the toy itself. Use it to enhance your sexual experience, but don’t make the toy of the focus.
Instead, use your hand to guide your partner as they use the toy. Or you could use the toy on yourself and let your partner sit back and enjoy the show. The more they see you enjoying yourself, the more likely they’ll be to want to include toys as part of your lovemaking routine.
Spice up Your Relationship With These Sex Tips
Most sex advice these days will suggest trying toys in the bedroom. If you’ve been considering it for a while, why not take the plunge and give it a try?
Whether you fly solo or experiment with your partner, you’re sure to be pleasantly (and pleasurably) surprised by the results!
Looking for other great relationship advice? Keep browsing our site to learn more about love, sex, relationships, and much more.
