Is your normal lovemaking routine not up to your sexpectations? You’re not alone, as it turns out.
When polled about their sex lives, most people were quick to point out that they want more sex and that the sex they’re currently having isn’t what they’re hoping for.
But it’s never too late to improve your sex life and doing so is easier than you may think.
Turn out the lights, lock the door, and slip into something a bit more comfortable. We’re about to walk you through 15 hot tips to help you have a better sex life.
1. Evaluate How Important Sex is to You
There’s no getting around it, sex is an important component of any relationship. Experts agree that great sex is about more than getting off — it’s about feeling close to the person you love.
But everyone has different values and expectations. The first step toward better sex is to look at what sex means to you.
Is it passionate? Spontaneous? Maybe it’s not even that important at all.
Whatever your attitude toward sex, reflecting on your own beliefs and expectations can help you express them to your partner.
2. Be Open To Your Partner’s Needs
It takes two to tango. Understanding your own views on sex is only the first step.
Ask your partner to do the same and see how your values align. It may be that you two view sex differently.
3. Identify What You Want to Change
If you’re reading this, chances are something isn’t quite working in the bedroom. Don’t worry, every couple goes through dry spells.
But to make sure your dry spell isn’t any longer than it needs to be, you’ll have to identify the problem. What is it that’s causing you and your partner to have lackluster (or no) sex?
4. Take an Online Quiz
Here’s a fun exercise that’ll help you learn more about yourself and your partner’s kinks.
MojoUpgrade is a fun online quiz that can help you learn just how kinky you two are.
You and your partner separately answer a series of questions. Your answers will fall into one of three categories:
- Nah
- If my partner wants
- Yes
The questionnaire is pretty extensive and covers everything from BDSM and anal to three-ways and polyamory.
Once you’re finished, the site shows you where you and your partner matched. If you’re embarrassed by some of your answers, don’t worry. If you didn’t match the answer won’t pop up.
5. Learn to Love Your Kinks
Now that you’ve discovered how kinky you two really are, you’re likely feeling flustered if not outright embarrassed.
Don’t worry. Kinks and fetishes are normal. Everyone has them, even if they’re not upfront about them.
Learning to let go of your inhibitions and embrace your inner freak can be a freeing experience.
6. Try It in New Places
If your sex life is confined to your bedroom, you’re missing out. Why not spice things up by having sex in new places?
Set a goal to explore your sexuality outside of the bedroom. Get your Netflix and chill on while snuggling up on the couch or try it in the kitchen.
If you’re really adventurous, you can even experiment with public play. Do note that doing so is technically illegal, so if you’re going to play in public, be careful and use common sense.
7. Masturbate Together
Want your partner to please you? Show them how it’s done.
Masturbating in front of your partner is a sexy way to turn up the heat, but it’s also a great way of communicating your likes to your partner.
8. Practice Spontaneity
Don’t wait until you’re in the bedroom. If you’re feeling flirty, let your partner know.
Spontaneous sex is often the hottest sex.
9. Stay Present
If you’re shy about your sex life, getting vocal can seem like the last thing you’re interested in.
While you don’t have to scream your lungs out, we do recommend giving one another real-time feedback to enhance the experience.
10. Experiment With Toys
Sex toys aren’t only for solo play! Spice up your bedroom by buying some exciting new toys for you and your partner.
There are plenty of online resources, like this guide, dedicated to helping you find the hottest and steamiest toys money can buy.
And sex toys aren’t just for the ladies, either. Aids like sheaths, masturbation sleeves, and cock rings can provide guys with a mind-blowing experience, too.
If you’re still completely lost, take a trip down to your local sex shop. It may be a little awkward or uncomfortable at first, but sex shop clerks have seen it all and can provide some great advice.
11. Pencil in Playtime
One of the biggest reasons couples stop having sex is because they’re too busy.
But if you’re too busy for one another, what’s the point of a relationship in the first place?
Make time for one another. Not only will your sexual chemistry improve, but your relationship will, as well
12. Be Honest About Your Boundaries
Upon discovering new kinks, you may find out that you and your partner have different tastes. That’s fine. In fact, it’s healthy.
Indulging your partner in their desires is wonderful, but not if it comes at your detriment.
Be open and honest about what you are — and aren’t — willing to do. There’s no shame in saying no.
13. Practice Makes Perfect
If you’re wondering how to get better at sex, you might like the answer: Practice.
Your sex life won’t improve overnight. Better sex takes work and a surprising amount of it.
14. It’s Okay to Laugh
Sex isn’t all bedroom eyes and orgasms. Sometimes it’s hilarious blunders, awkward injuries, or silly sounds.
Lighten up a bit and have fun with your sex life. Don’t be afraid to laugh a little.
15. Watch Porn With Your Partner
Porn isn’t always the best barometer for setting sexual expectations. But at the very least, it can be fun to watch.
To get in the mood, find a quiet place and watch porn with your partner. Take turns choosing videos to learn even more about what your partner likes.
Final Thoughts on How to Have a Better Sex Life
In truth, almost every couple wants to have a better sex life. But not all couples are willing to put in the time, effort, and embarrassment needed to make it work.
If you’re in a rut, give these tips a shot. You never know how steamy things might get.
A better bedroom means reconnecting with your partner on an emotional level, as well. Be sure to check out our 12 conversation starters for couples looking to reconnect.
