So you moved in with your significant other. That’s great news, but there’s something you need to know as a couple sleeping together…
You may never sleep again. At the very least you may never sleep the same again. There’s a lot of things that can happen between the hours of 10 pm and 7 am, and only a few of them are good.
Those of you that are married or have lived with your partner for a while know what we’re talking about. You and (name) will learn, very soon, that sleep is better when done alone. Like in your own room alone, away from everything and everyone alone. Alone.
Do you think neanderthal couples slept anywhere near each other? Highly doubt it. They didn’t even have houses and had to stay close to one another for protection, but there’s no way they slept in the same 8×10 foot section of dirt together if they didn’t have to.
So why do we? 70% of American couples sleep in the same bed together and probably end up with each other’s sleep issues, so let us get to the bottom of why this happens and how it can be fixed.
Hail to the Cover Thief
At some point, probably tonight, one of you is going to wake up shivering on the 24-inch corner of the bed you call home, while the other of you will be sound asleep in the middle of the bed with the entire duvet in use, leaving the other side of your sleep vessel completely empty.
Don’t worry, this is normal. However, that doesn’t make it acceptable. If you find yourself in this situation consistently, start wearing warm clothes to bed.
For a more permanent solution, try finding a bigger place with a room for each of you. 12% of couple sleep alone, and “sleep-divorce” is becoming a more accepted concept in modern relationships.
If you insist on sleeping in the same room, you could always get two sets of covers or even two beds with a large enough gap in between that the thief can’t thieve in the night. If that isn’t affordable, try building a pillow wall in between you. Make America Sleep Again.
I’m ‘Grammin
Unfortunately for society at large, we cannot put down our cell phones and tablets. Even when we’re super tired and have to get up for work super early, we’d still rather lay in bed refreshing Instagram to see if anyone has liked the picture of our cat that we posted.
This isn’t healthy behavior. And now that you are laying in bed alongside another person, that behavior is disrupting their sleep as well as yours. This is scientifically true.
Using your device before bed stimulates your brain and keeps you awake longer, and the light from the device suppresses melatonin and, you guessed it, keeps you awake longer. Don’t do this to (name).
Instead, try having a communal device hub where you charge your devices overnight. You’re a couple, you’re supposed to be doing couple stuff, not staring at your phones.
Is That a Helicopter in Our Room?
Snoring. If your partnership consists of one or more males, there’s probably a good deal of snoring happening throughout the night. For some reason, men’s noses don’t allow for the safe passage of air during sleep and it’s very noisy.
Of course, this can be a serious problem with anyone, not only men. It can also be unsafe, so if your partner’s snoring is to the point where you think they may expire because of it, contact a medical professional.
If it’s not life-threatening for them and just annoying you, try using earplugs or a white noise device to block out the noise. If it’s worse than that, suggest that they wear a mouth guard, or use a neti-pot.
If none of that works, you know what to do…
Yep, get a bigger place where you can enjoy your own room. Sadly, some people can actually snore through walls.
I’ll Be There in a Bit
If one of you needs to get up for work to make the money and the other one doesn’t for whatever reason, you might end up with different sleep schedules.
Seems pretty normal, except that it could result in one of you forcing sleep or one waking the other up when they do decide to go to sleep. Or worse, one waking the other prematurely in the morning.
The solution here is to talk about it. Good communication is how you got to the point of living together anyway, so hash out a good plan. No one should be forced to sleep or stay awake to accommodate the other.
“Aggressive Dreaming”
Got a kicker, eh? Being subconsciously abused or startled awake by your partner is less than ideal.
Believe it or not, tossing and turning can actually be the result of something more serious like ADHD or restless leg, or even stress. These things can be addressed by a medical professional.
If you or your partner is harmlessly restless (aside from the bruises you wake up with), then try one of those fancy mattresses that minimize movement, or even a bigger bed where you can keep your distance.
A Couple Sleeping
You shouldn’t let your respective lack of sleep fester because it could eventually cause a rift in your relationship. Be careful what you wish for, cause sleeping alone again might be in your future if you develop animosity towards your partner due to lack of sleep.
The biggest thing to remedy this is to try these things above and talk to one another.
“Yo (name), you kept me up all night talking about doing laundry in space.”
It’s as simple as that. You’re merely a couple sleeping together, you’ll figure it out.
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